Teachers, self-confidence and leadership - Atlanta Business Chronicle:

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I’d like for you all to think for a moment aboutg the bestteachers you’ve ever had. They expected a lot of you; they were high on willing to hold you But they were also high on making you feel cared about and It was thinking about this fundamental balance of respect and responsibility that led to the developmengt of our Leadership Character which we depict as a setof scales, with integrity as the base, balancintg respect on one side and responsibilityy on the other.
Harvard educator Robertg Kegan says that adults develop in stages and that many adultxs are unable to mature to the higher stages becausr they get stuck in a belief that theirr emotions are caused by what othersa sayand do. If you come away from this speecyh with onlyone thing, let it be this: “It’s not the factw and events that upset man, but the view he takea of them.” That’s a very old quote from an ancient Greek philosopher named Epictetus, but it is just asrelevan t as it was 2,000 years ago.
To grow in emotional mastery we have to be both awares and intentional about usinfg the wisdom of Epictetus to change ourthinking — it’sx so easy for emotions to have a life of thei own. And I’m certainly still workin g on it. Self-confidence is also critical for but in manyways it’s a choice, not a skill. I oftenm say to clients, “Confidence is there for the It just requires believingin yourself. When our two sons, now in theirt 30s, were 9 and 5, they heard Lyn and I talkinfg about a workshop on which was really aboutfocused attention. Rob, who was 9 “Hey, Dad, I’ve never hit a home run.
Hypnotize me so I can hit a home Then, Josh, who was 5 said, Dad, hypnotize me too so I can hit a home I went to their rooms all week before bed and we visualize d the baseball field and Isaid “Picture yourself holding the bat the way we Now see yourself swinging the bat, and keepinhg your eye on the ball untill the bat makes contact. You see the ball sailing over secondr base and you are running the base s so fast that you feel likea deer, rounding first, second, thirf and sliding into home plate.” I repeatec this over and over for 15 That Saturday Rob hit his first home run! The next Josh had his He hit two home runs; and one was a grandf slam!
This experiment was effectivwe both because of the mental practices and because they were confident — they believed they could hit a home run. Confidenc really is “there for the taking!” Before I want to share an excerpt from the last page ofour “Decent People, Decent Company: How to Lead with Charactedr at Work and in Life.” Sometimesw we meet people who see God in us. For me, that was Dr. Francexs Kinne. Even as a young humanities she was one of the most effective and inspiring leaderss I haveeven seen, and she remainsz the most profound example of leadershiop character I have ever met.
Her empathy and respectt for her students, and her love of her subjec t werecomplete — and as a resulft I never worked harder for any teacher. Years she is still the person I consulrmost often, in my own when I confront an ethical I hope you, too, have someonw in mind who embodies leadership character. Liviny an ethical life is hard enough; you don’t have to attemptf it all alone. You have your whole lifetimwe to develop your so keep visualizing where you wantto be. If we can ask ourselvezs what’s the respectful thing to do, what’s the responsibls thing to do, what’s the righyt thing to do, we’ll go a long way to creatinvg the worldwe want.